To be or not to be Perverted?
by BraceForImpact
Summary: After being abused by the villagers of Konoha, Naruto finds himself in the clutches of an ULTRA pervert! Could this be a good or bad thing for Naruto? Naru/Hina relationship will build. Other ships will be considered. Please read and ENJOY!
1. That Fateful Night

A/N: I don't own Naruto! Just like having fun with the characters!

To be or not to be…Perverted

Chapter One: That Fateful Night

_Huh…hmm…oh? _

A perverted chuckle echoed into the innocent afternoon wind…

_Such passion, such a provocative attitude towards women, the pain, the sorrow and the unimaginable boob size!!_

A masked man in a black ninja garb thought as he propped an orange book to his face (or his eye, his mask covered most of his face) with his back resting on a large tree.

Icha Icha Paradise: Special 'Insight', Limited Edition was the title of the book and though only men who are extreme perverts read any of the 'Icha Icha series and you had to be an ULTRA pervert to get a limited edition book…complete with the signature of the author.

The man turned the page with a lick of his finger and his nose trickled blood.

_Oooohhhh…three times and she isn't done yet! Such stamina! Ooohh I'm not getting any sleep tonight!_

His perverted…wait…OVER-perverted thoughts where interrupted however, when a few villagers carrying with them what looked like bloody iron bars and broken beer bottles, dragged something into a nearby alley.

The sight of blood on the supposed weapons didn't attract the perverted ninja's attention though, the sound of a whimpering child was one sound he could not bear hearing.

"Get the demon! Break him! Destroy the evil thing before it kills us all!"

Shouts from the drunken villagers filled the now dark sky.

"No! P-please…lemme go! I d-didn't do anything!" a young child whimpered, his whisker-marked cheeks where stained with blood and tears.

"Shut up demon! This is for what you did to my family!" the drunken man raised a bloody fist and made to punch the young boy but the strike never came.

"What the?!" the enraged drunk tried to free his arm from its restraints but it was futile.

"It isn't nice to beat children…no, actually it is unforgivable to beat children" hissed an icy voice.

"And I…" the icy voice continued as the sound of ropes lashing out of nowhere and being pulled tight was heard.

"Don't forgive"

The drunken threesome exploded into chunks of bloody flesh. Suffice to say they where torn limb from limb.

The young boy, now covered in the blood of his attackers stared wide eyed at his savior in fear and started to back away slowly, his fingers slipping from the vast quantity of blood that covered the alley floor.

"There's no need to fear me boy…" said the man in black ninja attire, almost lazily.

"D-don't hurt me…" the blood covered child passed out after the words left his mouth.

_Boy that Hikari woman can really put up a show for her boyfriend…I wonder if she goes after that Riku guy in the next chapter…_

The pervert decided to look up from his book at that moment.

"Tsk…damn I made another mess"

xXx

A few hours later, a pair of azure eyes fluttered open. He took in everything around him, shifting his head from side to side trying to figure out where he was.

"Am I dead?" he barely whispered to himself.

"Far from it" replied an unfamiliar voice.

The boy tried to shoot up from his bed but the bandages around him restricted any movement other than moving his head.

"Woah there Kid, relax. You had a run in with some drunken fools and I think you are one lucky gaki to be alive from those injuries you got" the unfamiliar voice explained.

The boy stared at the man with a fearful look.

The said man raised a brow as a silent question. Then realization kicked him in the ass.

"Oh sorry, forgive my rudeness. My name is Daichi Sora," he stomped his foot on a tea table and the young boy swore he saw the setting sun and fire works go off behind the strange man.

"Self-proclaimed… SSS-Ranked… ULTRA PERVERT!" the pervert pumped his chest proudly.

In a faraway bar somewhere beyond the boarders of fire country, a man with long white hair and red war paint on his face sneezed.

The young boy had a huge droplet shape form behind his head.

"I-I'm Uzumaki Naruto…uhmm," Naruto shifted a little and burst free from his bandages like a butterfly from its cocoon.

"I WILL MAKE EVERYONE IN THE VILLAGE RECOGNIZE ME AS ONE OF THE STRONGEST NINJA IN ALL OF KONOHA!"

The young blond finished with a fist raised in the air.

"Oh? Strongest in all of Konoha eh?" the man named Sora walked closer to Naruto and started to poke all around the boys body as if examining him.

Naruto giggled at the older man's touch but didn't move from his sitting position on the bed.

_Interesting…_

Little did Naruto know, Sora had checked out a few hunches he had and with the help of a few medical scan jutsu he learned from a pretty nurse he currently seeing- (ehem going off story), he found himself to be right on the money.

After his 'examination' Sora propped his chin on his fore finger and thumb and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Nope, not happening, you will be forever weak and are not suited for the life of a ninja…" Sora concluded in a huffy voice, crossing his arms and looking away from Naruto.

"Eh? Nani?...why not?" Naruto blinked twice and had a giant question mark atop his head.

"BECAUSE!" Sora turned with smirk on his face. He winked at Naruto and did an over dramatic pose. (Think Maito Gai)

"YOU ARE NOT PERVERTED ENOUGH! YOUR LEVEL IS TOO LOW FOR YOU TO BECOME AN ELITE NINJA LIKE ME! We can fix that…"

Naruto was fearful at first but now he was totally terrified, his jaw on the floor and was frozen on the spot before the ULTRA pervert.

"First! The interview!"

Sora grabbed the nearest chair in the room and stared Naruto in the eye.

"Now, hmm…" Sora tapped his cheek a few times in thought.

"Ah yes! What is your name?"

"Uzumaki…Naruto…" Naruto answered dumbly.

"Oh wait, I already knew that! Silly me" The masked ninja flicked Naruto's mouth closed.

"How old are you?" Sora asked the next question as jubilantly as the first.

"Six years old" Naruto blinked as he answered.

Another thoughtful look later Sora muttered something that sounded like 'old enough'.

"What is your favorite color?" Sora fired the next question.

"Orange…"

Sora narrowed his eyes and came face to face with the young blond.

"Good answer!" Sora's eyes morphed into stars and he danced around the room in an undignified manner.

Thoughts raced through Naruto's young mind. This man is absolutely crazy…and perverted. Why is he asking all these questions? I'm hungry…Oh no it's late! I have class at the academy tomorrow! What the hell is he doing? Is that a dance? Or is he finally winding down?

Naruto's train of thought was interrupted however, when Sora collided with the desk on the far side of the room and fell flat on his back.

The young blond shimmied off the bed and walked cautiously toward the downed crazy person.

Sora's hand shot up and his index finger pointed to the ceiling as he shouted. "I'LL DO IT!!"

Naruto was so shocked that he rocketed backwards into the wall and shrunk to the corner of the bed with Sora atop of him, their faces were extremely close.

"I'll train you to be the greatest ninja in all of Konoha…" Sora whispered into Naruto's ear.

Sora's face vanished from sight for a second and reappeared at end of the bed. He had a large box in his arms and wasted no time dumping the contents on the bed.

The box was full of magazines. Very _dirty_ magazines.

Naruto picked one up and read the title out loud.

"Boys for men: Limited Gold band Edition"

But before the boy could view the pictures below the title, the magazine was snatched away from him.

"WOAH! Wait up…this" Sora help up a magazine, the one with a picture of a man and a younger man holding each other, for emphasis. "Is WAAAAYYY too advanced for you…"

Digging into the perverted pile, Sora pulled out a magazine with a woman showing off her HUGE assets on the front page and handed it to Naruto.

"Here, start with the basics…"

xXx

Suffice to say, Naruto could never look at girls or women the same way ever again after that night.

To his surprise, Daichi Sora was a special Jounin of Konoha and a pretty good one at that. He took Naruto under his wing and showed him the ropes on becoming one of the worlds most perverted. As most of the other villagers, save the Sandaime Hokage hated the very dirt he walked upon, Naruto stuck to Sora like glue even though the man was perverted beyond the boundaries of decency.

Naruto never returned to the academy, instead he trained hard under Sora-sensei, learning how to convert chakra, increase his reserves and a few nin-jutsu.

Sora sent a memo to the Hokage to approve his tutelage of the young Uzumaki along with a short report on how he found the boy. The memo almost gave Sarutobi a fatal heart attack and called for three squads of ANBU to search the entire village for them but as he finished reading the report, he decided to call off the search and sent an approval.

A few tossed scrolls and mountains of undisturbed paper work later Sarutobi found what he was searching for. The Jounin file of Daichi Sora.

The file was clean and simple.

Taijutsu: Excellent

Ninjutsu: Mastery

Genjutsu: Excellent

Gennin at age 8

Chunnin at age 10

Jounin at age 14

**Wanted in the land of Fire, Wind and Lightning for acts unbefitting of the rank of Jounin.**

Five-hundred accounts each for:

-Peeping into women's baths

-Peeping into women's showers

-Groping young women in the shower and in their sleep

-Purchase of adult material being underage

The reward for his capture was…for lack of better term…astronomical, the Hokage has never seen so many zeros and the fact that this record could rival Jiraiya's own record of highly despicable deeds and reward of capture.

Pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a long pull of his pipe, the old man Hokage, feeling twice his age, dreaded the words floating in his mind…

'Another Jiraiya in the making'

xXx

Please read and review. Tell me if my story sucks so that I'll stop writing it but if you think its got some potential feel free to encourage me to continue.


	2. Training Days

A/N: I don't own Naruto. I just like to make people laugh!

To be or not to be…Perverted

Chapter Two: Training Days

Six awkward years later…

The basics for a shinobi are to conceal your presence and remain hidden

That was the objective of the exercise today.

_Oh crap…_

Naruto sat in silence and waited within the safety of a large, thick shrub that has grown quite conveniently in front of the entrance to an onsen…

Women of all different shapes (Cola bottle bodies!) and sizes (BOOBS!) came here to cleanse their bodies of daily filth…and all he had to do was sneak in…savor EVERYTHING he saw, get out and NOT get caught.

The problem was…

On the wall of paradise…

**Perverts will be castrated on site.**

Along side the warning sign where pictures of unlucky perverts, who where brutally decapitated…their soldiers will never rise again.

Naruto began to have some serious second thoughts.

'_The path from closet pervert and novice pervert is a long and tedious journey'_

Sora-sensei's voice chanted into the blonds head.

_Pfft…Yeah right, I'd like to live with my wingy-dingy still attached thank you very much._

Naruto was about to turn his heel and abort mission when another thought bubble sealed his doom.

'_Complete the mission and it's free ramen for a week'_

Sora-sensei's sing-song voice resounded again in the young man's head.

Ramen. He'd do anything for it. He'd crawl over hot coals for it; he'd kiss random men on the lips for it…heck he'd even die for it.

_I'm doomed_

With a much restrained about-face he faced his target with all the courage he could scrounge up.

Absolutely none…

It was an internal battle!

_Sexy babes. _

_Castration._

_Ramen. _

_Castration. _

_Naked sexy babes. _

_Castration. _

_Free Ramen for a week. _

_Castration._

_Naked sexy babes AND Free Ramen for a week!!_

That did it.

Taking one last look to his left and his right, Naruto gave his body the all clear signal and dashed into the shrubbery that encircled the ten foot wall around paradise.

It was all thought out a week ago and it would be a shame to let such a perfect plan go to waste.

One doton-jutsu later he was in. At the very corner of the bath to be exact and the next stage required not just perfect timing…it required ABSOLUTELY perfect timing. One stray glance shall cause irreversible and not to mention 'painful' consequences.

Being currently under ground meant he was safe for the time being but he could not see ANYTHING. The next stage was to pull up and hide. He had just perfected the jutsu that would allow him to succeed.

Feeling the ground for any disturbances and finding none, Naruto carefully rose through the earth and held the horse seal in his hands. It was a clever mix of henge and a simple suiton-jutsu, it allowed the user to be almost invisible and appear only as a large damp spot on the wall.

Well…at least he hoped he would.

'…'

And it did, perfectly.

"Did you hear that fore-head girl?" asked a high-pitched female voice.

There was a soft splashing sound, indicating someone entered the water.

"It's probably just your imagination Ino-pig. If you don't mind I need to get all squeaky clean so that I smell irresistible to my Sasuke-kun," another less high-pitched female voice answered.

The moment he opened his eyes caused him a minor nose bleed.

_Keep it together Naruto._

Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino where right before of him in all their naked glory. Though it was kinda disappointing those twelve year old kunoichi lacked the assets that drove any man wild… but if you looked lower (torso)

…lower (belly button)

…little lower (hips)

…A bit more…bulls eye.

Insert annoying announcer voice here

And Sakura decides to pull up on shore and spread eagle to scrub her legs and inner thighs…

Imaginary judges' boards go up for an 8, 10 and a 9!!

Wait a minute! Waaaa-it a minute! The opposition decided to join the exhibition and it's Ino with a brilliant spread and perfect finger movement to clean her vaginal area!

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

Insert imaginary roaring crowd sound effects here

Imaginary judges boards' rocket up for a land slide victory of 10, 10 and 9!!

End annoying announcer voice

The mother load of fantasies…

The front of Naruto's pants began to feel a tad bit tighter.

Taking in EVERYTHING he saw he decided to move his focus on bigger fish.

Next on the target screen…Mitarashi Anko and Yuuhi Kurenai…

Both women were quietly conversing in a surprisingly civil manner, Anko was known to be brash and sadistic and out right creepy…guess everyone changes during bath time.

Anko propped herself up with her elbows on the edge of the bath, showing her nice, round breasts and perky nipples. Kurenai on the other hand could only be seen from the neck up…

_Hold the phone._

Kurenai must have been a target of one of Anko's snide remarks because she huffed and decided to come out to the open. NIIIIICCCCEEEEEEE!!

Imaginary judges' boards

10, 10 and a Hooooteeerrss!

_What the?_

Imaginary judges' boards shrug and disappear

Whatever…

Naruto began to feel faint and the fact that his soldier was in a REALLY tight space didn't help matters any. He was loosing too much blood and soon might suffer from massive blood loss if he lost control now.

"Come on Hinata-chan! Let me wash your back for you!" Sakura's voice cut through the air.

A Goddess stepped out of the changing rooms. Her dark blue hair, milky white skin blew Naruto's mind away…and the loose towel she had secured around herself was the only thing keeping the perverted blond sane…

"H-hai, Sakura-chan?" Hyuuga Hinata's soft and gentle tone started to melt Naruto's heart.

_My heart is beating way too fast…_

"Take off your towel silly, how can I wash your back with your towel on?" Sakura tsk'ed at her fellow kunoichi and grabbed the towel.

Perverted eyes traveled down her milky white form…but before he could view the 'sacred' place, a warning bell rang in Naruto's system.

_Oh…SHIT!_

Blood gushed from his nostrils (not to mention his soldier 'exploded') but thankfully Naruto reacted accordingly and reactivated the doton jutsu just in time.

He reemerged outside of paradise and dashed towards his original position.

_SAFE!_

"Mission accomplished," Naruto panted, wiping his bloody nose with his sleeve.

The snapping of a twig caused Naruto to snap his head back at a phenomenal speed; even he was surprised he didn't get paralyzed neck down.

But what did surprise him (and almost caused his eyeballs to pop out) was the ANBU standing three feet away from him.

"Having fun aren't we eh?" asked the ANBU in a monotone, while taking a short katana from its side. "Castration time, my little pervert!"

Naruto was so freaked out that he had forgotten how long he held his breath. His eyes rolled up and his world went black from lack of oxygen.

The ANBU kneeled next to him and removed his ANBU mask to reveal a triumphant Daichi Sora.

"I win" Sora chuckled and stood up from his kneeling position and moved toward the wall to paradise.

"Kai!" Sora whispered and the 'Warning' sign disappeared but with it gone a single peep hole was reveled and was immediately occupied.

_Oh yesssss…You got it Anko-chan…hehehehe…_

xXx

**A/N: **A short but fun filled chapter! Next one will be the real NaruHina builder I promise! Tell me how this story is going and as I said: If it sucks tell me to stop but if you likey then feel free to encourage me to write on! Ciao!


	3. The B, the CC and the UP, part 1

A/N: I don't own Naruto. I enjoy making stories with the characters!

Thanks to all who reviewed and sorry for taking my time with this chapter but I had to come up with a workable plot for future chapters…so here it is!

To be or not to be…Perverted

Chapter Three: The beast, the copy cat and the ultra pervert, part 1

"_Castration time, my little pervert!"_

Naruto shot up from bed in a cold sweat and his breathing haggard. One look around the room confirmed that he was in Sora-sense's quarters (or his private chambers) and…

He tore away the covers and inspected his privates.

_It's still attached! Thank Kami!_

He flopped back onto the covers and noticed a note under a bowl of cold ramen on the night table.

**Naruto, **

**By the time you read this I should be taking the one eyed lesser pervert and supper-fuzzy brows to the cleaners and you passed the test of ascension to novice pervert.**

**Your orders:**

**Eat the ramen **

**And head on over to Kakashi's pad**

**P.S.**

**The scary ANBU person who made you piss your pants was me and bring my new 'Icha Icha Paradise X: Lovers Eternal' with you if it has arrived. Thanks! Mwah!**

**Sora-sensei**

Naruto had a huge droplet of sweat form behind his head.

_That jerk…he almost gave me a heart attack and…If anyone sees me with that book… _

He grabbed the bowl of cold ramen, emptied its contents, grabbed his sensei's book which was still in its paper packaging (Oh thank kami!) and rushed out the door with so much killer intent that he scared the other tenants of the aparment building as he passed.

_Should I use Shunshin? _The thought of using the ultimate escape technique was tempting but the idea was immediately dismissed.

_I'll never hear the end of it from bastard sensei _

Naruto cringed at the thought of being subjected to another one of his sensei's 'sermons'. (a.k.a: a very graphic birds and the bee's tale)

_I maybe a novice pervert…but the level perversion of his stories…it's almost madness_

People do sometimes mistake pure genius for madness but Naruto is not like most people and Sora was only a genius in the art of peeping on women, second only to Jiraiya of course.

The whirlwind of thoughts in the young blonds mind caused him to phase out for a moment, which was no problem since he could jump roof tops without even having to think much of it. (Thanks to his training of 'Perverted Ninja art number one: Evade and Escape')

**Crack!**

That moment was all it took for him to slip on a loose roof tile and start an abrupt ten foot freefall.

BAAANNNZZZAAAIII!!

Apparently this wasn't the first time Naruto had experienced this life or death situation. ('Pervert Ninja Art number two: Extreme Endurance, which was accomplished with Sora's repeated throwing of Naruto off ridiculously high places like ravines, cliffs and tall buildings)

Falling face first into solid earth was the norm for a pervert. Being repeatedly flung out of windows would discourage any lesser pervert. Naruto however was the apprentice of the BIGGEST pervert currently residing in Konoha. So it's just a matter of closing your eyes, apply a thick layer chakra to your facial area and BAM!

So hitting the dirt wasn't such a big thing…If you actually 'hit' the dirt.

OOF!

At three feet from ground zero, Naruto impacted with something soft which successfully broke his fall.

_Wow…I must have landed on a pillow cart, LUCKY!!_

And Naruto, being Naruto, rubbed his face into whatever saved him.

A winded "eep!" and 'thunk' brought his attention back to the real world.

Opening his eyes, he blinked away the blurriness and focused his sight on his 'cushion' and was mentally decked.

He had buried his face in the developing cleavage of one 'Heiress to the most respected and feared clan of all Konoha' Hyuuga Hinata…a very red and very unconscious Hyuuga Hinata.

_Oh…my…kami-sama…_

Perverted realizations aside, the Hyuuga Heiress, being of VIP status because of her clans' reputation, was always followed by a Hyuuga body guard.

_Well then I won't have to worry about leaving her here…_

Naruto's decision shattered however when his 'beloved' sensei's voice rang once more in his head.

"_The Hyuuga are not only feared because they posses the 'Byakugan' and can see and close tenketsu points…but because if they hit the right points between your groin and your spine…well let's just say that you will never be the same man again"_

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he picked up from old man Sarutobi.

"_And leaving such a fine, although a bit young, female specimen without proper 'sight seeing and grop- ACK!!"_

A vein throbbed on Naruto's forehead as he strangled his imaginary sensei until he puffed out of existence.

"DAMN IT!!" cursed the blond in exasperation.

He lifted Hinata onto his back and activated his _Shunshin no jutsu_ (Flash step technique) and hauled ass toward his preset destination.

xXx

"Hehehe, looks like I win again…Gai-san drop the leotards" the sinister voice of Daichi Sora cackled as he collected the winnings: a pair of green leotards and blue pants.

"You know Sora, I begin to wonder why I even bother trying to win at strip poker," the famous copy-cat ninja Hatake Kakashi sighed. "Poor Gai will never be able to run all two-thousand laps around Konoha"

Then a very_ youthful_ voice cried out.

"RIVAL KAKASHI! DO NOT FRET FOR THE FIRES OF YOUTH SHALL NEVER BURN OUT FROM THE FIERY FURNACE WHICH IS MY YOUTHFUL SOUL!" Maito Gai exclaimed with a tearfull 'nice-guy' pose at the loss of his favorite article of 'youthful' clothing.

Gai took the cards Sora handed him, looked through them and his face formed a triumphant smile.

"GIN!"

Giant sweat drops formed behind the heads of Kakashi and Sora.

"See," Kakashi tsk'ed without looking up from his cards. "He's starting to loose his sanity, he's not even playing the same game!"

Sora just shrugged as if he didn't care and began to count winnings, namely: All of Gai's and Kakashi's money, their Jounin jackets, shirts, gloves, wrappings, sandals, mesh armor, kunai pouches, Gai's leotards, Kakashi's pants, and half of Gai's boxers. (The lower part)

"His choice Kakashi-kun...let's see what else he's willing to loose" Sora muttered in a bored tone.

Three games later, the situation for both Kakashi and Gai only worsened as both men had to use black garbage bags as makeshift clothing as they glared daggers at Sora.

"Oh? What's with the looks now?" Sora raised a brow. "Don't you love it that I almost always win every hand?"

After finishing his last statement, Sora accidentally flicked his arm which caused a couple of aces to fall to the floor and all the color to quickly drain from what little you could see of his face.

The amount of killer intent radiating from the two garbage bag men was so intense that the room began to heat up. Gai had a searing 'youthful' fire in his eyes and Kakashi held an ice cold leer in his only visible eye.

"SORA YOU CHEATING BASTARD!!" Both Kakashi and Gai roared as they jumped Sora in an attempt to murder him, kunai in hand.

Waving his hands defensively in front of him Sora tried to desperately calm the monstrous amount of killer intent that was sent toward him.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, can't we talk about this? No need to get violent…"

The two garbage bag clad ninjas looked at each other for a moment before nodding in silent agreement and turning back to Sora.

"I'll chop off your penis and make it into a usable kunai and Gai here will take your ball sack and use it as a barf bag," the one eyed copy nin said in a deadly whisper.

There was a whirlwind of movement and the scene changed dramatically.

Gai stood over Sora with a triumphant smile, tightening the ropes that held the other man's arms and legs down as Kakashi traveled south and pulled off Sora's pants, revealing the most erotic pair of boxers ever in the history of pervertedness. (Think every position and erotic deed known to man, all embroidered onto cotton boxers)

Kakashi let out a loud whistle before muttering "Dibs on the boxers"

It was at that exact moment when Naruto arrived through the window with an unconscious Hyuuga in his arms.

"…"

Silence…

Naruto stared at the three jounin in shock for a moment before reverting back to his pre-arrival stoic face. He repositioned the Hyuuga heiress in his arms and calmly walked toward the door leading to an adjoining room.

But before Naruto closed the door behind him, he poked his head out with a sly smile.

"Carry on gentlemen, enjoy!"

A single thought passed through the minds of the three dumfounded men.

_Homosexuality_

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Naruto shut the door behind him, successfully nullifying three resounding screams of denial.

_Hehehe…revenge is so sweet_

Well he was about to eat his words.

Sora, taking pride as the second best womanizer next to his idol Jiraiya was enraged at the thought of being something as accursed as a 'homo' and with a huge blast of raw chakra, broke his bonds sent both Gai and Kakashi flying.

It must have been the will of some higher power or some pretty bad luck when Gai's fist came flying though the door and slammed into the blonds' cranium causing him to loose his balance.

_Shit!_

Naruto was forced to roll even with his hands full and had miraculously impacted face first into something soft once again and sighed in relief but it was short lived as a soft moan reached his ears.

He lifted his head and his azure blue stare was met with half closed milky white eyes.

_She's awake!_

The blonds' gaze fell.

_I've landed in heaven!_

He landed face-first on her crotch to be exact and any lady would know the proper reaction to that.

_And I'm in deep shit!_

Naruto expected one out of two things to happen: One, he could become temporarily mute and deaf or Two, he'd probably experience the worst beating of his life at the hands of a woman no less. (As of that moment he had yet to be caught)

Boy was he shocked when neither happened.

He dared to tilt his head upward once more and meet that milky white gaze and was completely faulted at her expression.

Anger flew out the window. Disturbed was not present. Embarrassment took a hike and hello dreamy eyed half-consciousness.

"_Mmm…oh Naru-kun, don't make me wait"_ the Hyuuga heiress slurred as she lifted her hips up to the said sun kissed blonds' face.

Naruto swore he felt blood escape his nostrils but immediately started to mentally berate himself.

_She's not in a complete state of mind you baka! You're a better man than Sora-sensei, prove it true! Besides, for kami's sake you're both only just about thirteen…_

Then a not so reasonable side took over Naturo's train of thought.

_Then why did she moan and arch her hips at me like that? How does she know my name? I don't remember ever meeting her in person…why does she smell good enough to…eat?_

Naruto's time to ponder on these thoughts ended when the said girl turned the tide and was now atop the blond, straddling him.

_NOT GOOD!_

"_Naru-kuuun…" _Hinata moaned as she grinded herself onto him as she nibbled on his ear.

Naruto's heart began to race and broke out into a cold sweat. He was trapped. In her trance like state he could only surmise that she might be acting out her subconscious minds desires without her realizing…and she was starting to fiddle with his zipper…

HELP ME! KAMI-SAMA!

xXx

Hehe…I think I screwed up somewhere but meh…lawl, I'm a failure as a fanfic writer! Well it's up to you folks! The same as always, if you say I write crap then I shall stop or if I get positive reviews I'll continue. Ciao!


End file.
